E-mail #15: The Jay Luck Club – Honey Roasted T-Shirts

Date: Fri, 2 Feb 2001 06:12:06 -0800 (PST)

From: Jay Schneider

Subject: The Jay Luck Club

This update was made possible in part by Kenny Rogers, Amy Tan, and Dan Picciotto.

When we last left our hero…

I was about to board a train south to Malaysia with a beautiful dutch woman. So how did I end up in Taiwan on a nostalgic journey into a Chinese girl’s past and also becoming a Mah Jong Champion? And how do I manage to have my cake, and eat it, too? That’s what I hope to explain in this hastily-written update entitled “The Jay Luck Club”

Almost immediately from our Bangkok departure, I was glad to have Julie as a travel-mate. It’s great to have a partner not only for the company, but it’s easier to deal with the rigors and hassles of travel. For instance, while one person watches all the bags, the other is free and mobile to search for bus tickets, hotels, etc. It was also nice having late-night chat sessions when we felt like Kenny Rogers and the Gambler (they were ‘both too tired to sleep’). And it doesn’t hurt when your partner-in-crime is stunningly attractive.

After hanging out on the islands, and then spending 10(!) days in Bangkok, we both agreed it felt good to be “on the road again” (Willie, not Kenny, I know). Sometimes it feels good to strap on your pack, new day, new town, running for the next bus, being on the go, and this was our plan for the next 2 weeks. So after training our way to Butterworth, catching two buses, to get into the Cameron Highlands town of Tana Rata, we promptly dumped our bags, and stayed for a week.

Not that it was a bad decision. We arrived close to midnight, and after dark, in a strange town we knew nothing about, we were at the mercy of the handful of touts who met the bus. We put our trust in “Gil,” a bald-headed man with a goatee, who resembled a Malay Mr. Clean. It wasn’t so long ago that I shared both his profession and hairstyle, so I felt, perhaps we were kindred spirits. We made the right choice. He took us to the guesthouse he was living at, hill-top place at which the owner, Mr. Lee, made breakfast every morning. Tea was free all day, and there was a stack of late 80’s women’s magazines in the living room. The homey atmosphere, and perhaps my need to catch up on Cosmo (I missed the June ’87 “Tips to Catch, and Keep your Man” and the May ’89 “Lose the weight to look HOT at the beach this summer!” issues, gave us no desire to rush out of Tana Rata, and so we didn’t.

The mornings (the ones we didn’t sleep through, anyway) usually gave us great views of the surrounding hills and tea plantations. We were in no rush, sitting outside with the other guests, drinking endless cups of tea, while I searched for my name on Elle’s “Top 10 Men of the Year!” In the afternoon, we filled with walks and hikes in the surrounding jungle-hills, and a visit to the local tea plantation. It was still the rainy season, so sometimes our outdoor adventures got a little muddy, or we’d simply retreat to Mr. Lee’s and Seventeen Magazine.

And it wasn’t a bad place to spend my birthday, either. Of course, I have no wild and crazy stories of the red-light variety to tell, but it was a mellow, relaxing way to spend an otherwise insignificant birthday (by that, I mean, 27 is not much of a landmark as say, 16, 21, or, in the case of Julie, 30, which brought her to tears a few weeks back). Gil played me “Happy Birthday” on guitar as we sat ’round a midnight campfire, and I awoke to a birthday cake which Julie and Dom (British bloke and 4-month resident of Mr. Lee’s) managed to scrounge up. It was a good place to reflect on my past year, and look ahead to the coming one. Via e-mail, my mother was kind enough to refuse to wish me a “Happy Birthday” on the grounds that it seems like every day is my birthday. I conceded on this point–my life’s good.

Julie, apart from being magnificently gorgeous, is something of an internet addict. My plan, after leaving Bangkok, was to wait a couple weeks before checking in again. One day in Tana Rata, Julie needed to check her e-mail briefly, and I reluctantly decided to sit down and check mine, too. And this is where things get a bit interesting.

I got a message from Betty Yu, my ex-roommate’s (hereafter: Colin), girlfriend. (I also got a strange message with the subject header “Do you like sexy girls?”, but that’s a different story). Betty and Colin had plans to go to Taiwan and visit her family. They decided to call my bluff and test my “people-oriented” travel philosophy I talked about in my last update. Would I like to come to Taiwan and meet them? The wheels, started turning. I hadn’t seen them in 3 1/2 years, when I left for Japan, and they left for New York. It would be great to see them, and also a great opportunity to see Taiwan, what with “inside connections” and all. But more than actually seeing Betty and Colin, I liked the idea of just “popping over to Taiwan” to meet someone. (I’m imagining a telephone conversation something like this. In obnoxious, snobby accents, of course:

Col: Jay, ol’ boy, long time no see!
Jay: Col! Fabulous to hear from you, ol’ sport! How are you?
Col: Smashing, just smashing! Where are you these days?
Jay: Oh, I’m in Malaysia this week, Singapore the next, you know how it goes.
Col: Smashing! Say, ol’ chap, the Betts and I will be in Taiwan next week, visiting the
family, you know.
Jay: Oh, fiddlesticks! You are a lucky one! I wish I had that chance. Fabulous for you,
ol’ man.
Col: Well, that’s what I wanted to chat with you about. See, the Betts had this
smashing idea. Why don’t you just pop on over and join us for the week?
The Betts: Oh, do come, Jay. We would so love to see you. It’ll be such a lark. Splendid,
really.
Jay: Well, I guess I don’t see why not…why, yes, I suppose…YES, I’ll call some people,
and see what magic I can brew up.
The Betts: Splendid!
Col: Smashing!
Jay: Fabulous! Fabulous idea, you two!
Col: Well, ol’ guy, the credit goes all to the Betts!
Jay: Well, then, Heaven’s to Betts, eh?
(etc.)

But Taiwan’s not exactly on my route, and it would take some doing. Plus, I really enjoyed traveling with Julie, and she’d even invited me to continue on to Indonesia with her. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. (You know, you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Even birthday cake.)

In the end, it was a zero hour deal, which brought everything together, on the Malaysian island of Penang. For reasons, I don’t quite understand, Penang is a major center for cheap airline tickets (it also has a lot of rats, but again, that’s a different story), and since, after a few days in Kuala Lumpur, Julie and I were going there anyway, that’s where the final decision would be made. The night we arrived, it was late, so all shops were closed, the next day was a Sunday, and again, nothing open. So Sunday evening I went to sleep knowing the next day things’d be sorted out. It wasn’t a restful sleep, however, as moments before my eyes shut, I did the math and realized that Betty and Colin’s flight to Taiwan could be at any moment (they were waiting for me to let them know if it was going to work, and I was waiting for the shops to open, oblivious of the date). The next morning, I was out on the street looking for an open travel agent, and an open internet cafe, both things taking a while on this sleepy Monday morning. I found a ticket for a reasonable price, but that would be useless if I couldn’t contact Colin. Run to a computer, e-mail to Colin, then send a desperate plea for help from people who may know Colin’s number and his parents’. To be so close to making it all work, I wasn’t about to give up easily and was figuring even if they had already left, perhaps I could get contact information from his parents. I was considering my options, and about to log-off, when I got a message from Colin. We’d connected, a few hours before they were about to leave, and well…a few days later we were all together in Taiwan.

At this point, I have to give a big thanks to Dan Picciotto. For reasons he can’t explain, Dan decided to check his e-mail at a time he never checks his mail, read my plea for help, called Colin, and gets major props for the assist. Thanks, Dan, the following adventures couldn’t have happened without you.

I was able to spend a few more days with Julie before bidding a teary-eyed farewell (the tears were all mine, she could hardly contain her smile at finally getting rid of me). She on a boat to Indonesia, me on a plane to Taiwan.

Chinese culture is not something so foreign to me. After all, I’ve spent time in Chinatowns all over the world (that’s a joke, people). But it was my first time to a proper Chinese country, and I was lucky enough to tag along on the Betty Yu roots tour, visiting Betty’s friends, and stomping grounds from her childhood.

The Chinese New Year means lots of family, and lots of food. I don’t think a day went by where I didn’t meet another cousin, or eat far more food than my body wanted (don’t get me wrong, the food was DELICIOUS!!!) I met her grandparents, cousins, sisters, nieces, nephews, parents, and even spent the night in her brother-in-law’s home, a man who made his millions racing pigeons (that’s NOT a joke, people). Apparently, Colin and I are the only people in the world who have met so many of her relations (I lost count after 50).

We visited temples, night markets, Betty’s old kindergarten, and some historic street with the intriguing in the idea, yet in the event disappointing name “touch breast” street. And one day, when it was felt our sight-seeing saturation point had been met, after a flurry of faxes and phone calls by Betty’s mother, we ended up spending an afternoon getting massages. Colin and I were a little fuzzy on how the decision was reached, but we certainly didn’t complain. (well, Colin did a bit. There was bruising.)

But no Chinese New Year can pass without some serious Mah Jong, and play we did. Colin and I were first-timers, but Betty’s family was eager to teach us. We learned the basics, the terminology, and with a lot of coaching, began to play. After a bit, Betty’s cousin told us we would never really learn to play unless we played for money. Suddenly, it all made sense. The friendly invitation, the lure of free food, accommodation, and tour-guides to come to Taiwan, all part of a clever ruse by Betty’s family to hustle the unsuspecting white boys out of their money. Colin and I were to be the suckers. Well, THIS sucker, wasn’t going to be having any of it, and it was I who was laughing loudest as I left the table that night, the winner. And two days later in a different town with different players, with Betty’s childhood friends suggesting we play a game in the hopes of reversing their losing-streak, it was THIS sucker who walked away (“know when to walk away, know when to run” -Kenny Rogers) with the biggest winnings. Yeah, don’t mess with THIS sucker. (I really need to stop calling myself that.)

Eventually, the week was up, and time for me to return to my life on the road, and continue my SE Asian adventures. It was great to catch up with Colin and Betty, and I’ve secured space on their floor (what, I’m not good enough for the couch?) when I back in the states, homeless, jobless, looking for some Mah Jong action to get me through the week.

And now? I’m in Singapore, where I needed to deal with some passport issues, getting new pages, and fixing the lamination which was coming off (I suggested duct tape, they weren’t having any of it). It is interesting to note that a new US Embassy was dedicated here in 1997 by William Jefferson Clinton. Interesting, that is, if you like US Embassy trivia, or, like me, you have a map which predates 1997, and has the old embassy marked, several kilometers away from its current site.

Tomorrow? Catching a boat to Indonesia to catch up with Julie who is (say it with me) beautiful. Pop over to Taiwan to see my friends, back down to Indonesia to continue traveling with the girl, I guess sometimes you can have your cake and eat it, too.