Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 05:39:10 -0800 (PST)
From: Jay Schneider
Subject: Letters from Nepal
To: Pushkar Camel Fair Committee
Dear Sirs,
It is with a heavy heart and deep regrets that I must inform you I will be unable to attend this year’s Camel Festival in Pushkar, India. Time constraints and other factors have resulted in this unfortunate situation.
When I began my broad-stroked planning of this journey, I had originally intended to put most of my emphasis on India, after spending a couple of weeks in Nepal. As it stands now, I am nearing the end of my second month here, and not a bit of this time has been ill-spent (though, admittedly, some of the time has been spent ill). After my two weeks of volunteering, I spent three weeks trekking around the Annapurna mountain range, followed by a 3-day white-water rafting trip. In my remaining time, I still have much to explore in the Kathmandu valley, and I should also hope to visit the birthplace of Buddha on my way out. Deciding to give this beautiful country the time it deserves has made for an overall experience that is not only unforgettable but also true to the spirit and purpose of my travels. As they say, you get out what you put in. (Though what came out in my frequent and urgent trips to the toilet looked nothing like what I put in…)
I’ve not given up on your country entirely, though my sub-continent budget of time and money has definitely favored Nepal. To tell the truth, at times I have been so overwhelmed by the the possibilities of things I want to see and do, I’ve nearly cancelled the whole thing entirely, in order to save India for a future trip. I would fall asleep convinced India would have to wait, then awake the next morning, determined to go at all costs. Unfortunately, my funds have been depleted considerably, and this fact would invariably result in my decision to finish out my visa here, then head back to SE Asia. But when I heard word of your magnificent festival, drawing over 200,000 traders and 50,000 camels each year, I was sold. I’d go to India, even if only for the camel festival (as that’d probably be all I could afford to do).
As things go, however, my India visa will not be approved for another week, and even if I get lucky with train connections and push straight through to Rajasthan, I’d only catch the final day. And that’s assuming all went smoothly, and nothing is smooth about Indian travel. I think it’s best I make this difficult decision now, rather than fuel my hopes, and end up broken-hearted later. I hope you can understand.
So, the camels must go on without me. I wish you the best of success and hope your beasts fetch fair prices, and your acquisitions have humps of the highest grade!
Sincerely,
Jay “No camel, No cry” Schneider
TO: Indian Embassy, Kathmandu, Nepal
Hello, again!
Remember me? I was the one applying for a tourist visa to your country. Yeah, that’s right, there were about 80 of us there this morning.
Anyhow, I wanted to thank you for your hospitality and kindness during my 3 hour stay with you this morning (and the hour sitting outside, I must say your curbs rank right up there with the best of them!) I appreciate how each of the lines moved progressively slower, as I moved from the unmarked line, then to “line B” and finally, my favorite, “line 3”. The fact that for a 45 minute stretch there was absolutely no movement, gave me the time to catch up on some reading and re-do that form because, silly me, I used blue ink, not black.
I know you said I only have to repeat this once more in 7 days, before returning a third time to get the actual visa, but I was encouraged my the many ‘returnees’ who found they still had not been approved after 7 days, and would get to try again the next day. I’m sure we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other.
Since we’re becoming so close, why not call me Jack, as the many Nepali do, despite my repeated corrections and explaining that “Jay” is my real name. Or “Jake,” if you prefer, as the German girl in my volunteer program did for two weeks, without my being aware of it. Perhaps I thought it was her accent or the coincidence that when she said my name, the next word began with a ‘k’ sound. (“Jay, could you…?” and “Jake, could you…?” sound very similar.) When saying our good-bye, she apologized for her mistake (we had exchanged e-mails, so she’d seen it in writing), and I, this being the first I’d known of it, apologized for not noticing her mistake.
Call me what you want, call me what you will, just call me as soon as my visa’s ready!
See you soon!
Jay “If I were from Uruguay, I wouldn’t need a visa” Schneider
P.S. — would it speed things along if I told you I have a camel fair to get to?
TO: Mom
Hi, Mom!
Sorry I haven’t written in a while, but, you know…(and I promise to clean my room as soon as I get back).
Can I ask you a favor? See, I’m applying for a visa to India. In the first stage, a form is faxed to the States to make sure I’m not a criminal or other unruly character. For some reason, this process takes about a week. I was thinking maybe a note from you, telling them I’m a good boy and a nice guy would speed things up a bit. I mean, why bother to contact the authorities and officials back home when they can just get the goods direct from a boy’s mother? So, just drop a line, or give a call. Tell them good things, and don’t’ mention my bedwetting phase or that time I broke your favorite vase because I was playing ball in the house, but glued it back together before you ever knew about…(wait, forget that).
Thanks!
Jay “Not a hooligan” Schneider
P.S. – I shaved my head and became a monk. Ha-ha-ha, I didn’t really become a monk.
TO: Drift Nepal River Rafting Expeditions
Hey, guys! I really enjoyed my last trip with you down the Kali Gandaki river. The rapids were exciting, the scenery was beautiful and the people were great. You run a safe and professional operation, and I had total confidence in our guide. I’m sure that time he fell out with over half our members was just a test to see if we remember how to pulled people back into the raft.
Anyway, as it turns out, I’ve got some time left in Nepal while I await my Indian visa, and I was thinking about doing another trip. But I have some doubts about whether it’s the best thing for me.
With one rafting trip under my belt, do I really need to be spending more time (money) on a second one? After 3 weeks of walking over 350 kilometers, followed by 3 days of physically demanding rapids, do I have the strength (money) and endurance (money) to raft again so soon? Even though I’ve been on one trip, do I really have the skills (money) and experience (money) required for your more advanced (expensive) trips? It’s not about the money (it’s about the money).
I’ll do some thinking, but maybe I’ll sign up for your 2-day Bhote Kosi trip. Though a shorter (cheaper) trip, it’s a technically difficult run, with near-continuous rapids from put-in to take-out. Of course, 2 days is a short period of time, but I’m sure the “team” will be able to rapidly (“rapid”-ly, get it?) develop deep and close bonds that will last a lifetime. (Screw the people, just give me the action!)
We’ll be in touch.
Jay “2nd timers discount?” Schneider